the geek,

I'm just another guy next door.
Stop bothering me if you have nothing for me.

Friday, August 24, 2007

if u dun trust me, tell me straight. dun loop one big round and drop hints saying so.

i am fine if u are direct enough but i still have to make my stand.

i did alot of things but was not made known to u all because i dun see a reason to report it. i dun need that kind of credit for doing things.

your younger son is ur good son. your eldest son is a very bad and perhaps the worst kinda son that anyone can have. so i have to kng all the shit i nv do in silence. if thats the case, i bear all the shits that he doesnt wanna bear. he will be ur good son and i will be bad. end of story.

i do not seek any apology or anything from them. if the truth is supposed to be revealed, it will be revealed. i have my own conscience. liang xin. for my younger brother, i can die for him. but i seriously do not understand why he have to do lanjiao things from time to time and i have to bear all the shits he did when i DID NOTHING AT ALL. with parents not understanding enough and not being neutral enough to sit down to talk and discuss issues, i seriously do not understand. its like dr chee going to the supreme court on the 31st july with no lawyer representing him.

it hurts alot, really.

must deeper than anyone of you can expect.

i hated my younger brother so much. if he ever look back he will know. i have already made my stand. i shall leave the rest for them to find out themselves. the more i say and try to defend myself, the more hurt i will get.

i can understand that i get more monetary support from them as compared to my brother, which made them feel that i was treated better than him. perhaps with this, he already won the heart of my parents. i do not need these monetary support or neither am i earning alot to be able to support myself completely. i have my prides. u can say anything about me but nothing that insults my integrity. if u think that u are giving me too much money, u can choose not to give at all. i do not ask for any support. i just hope my ns come faster. in my life, i only have my friends and i. dad is pretty understanding and he can talk more logic than my mum. mum is like a complete dictator. but nvm all these. home, to me, has been like a place just for basic shelter needs from dunnoe how long ago. i know that they cared for me and the things they do. however there are some things that were very unjust and i cannot say anything abt it. the more i say makes me like a rebellious son. so i shall just listen to wadeva they say, wadeva they want me to do, and be the son they labelled me as.

i am crying now as i am typing this very moment. how rare to spot me crying. i just hope i have enough money to leave. perhaps after i leave my family, i will be more independent. i want to be successful and is determined to be. they will perhaps look for me then, when they discover the truth.

no one to share even 10% of what i always wanted to spill out. i kept most of these things personal and on my blog. and its also not like me to share my problems with people as i find it very ma fan for them. i dun cause trouble to ppl.

i am stronger than wad i appeared to be.

life is just unfair. live it, face it.

0 comments