the geek,

monday

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

• went for hrm tutorial today. the last tutorial for this week. then no more liao le. and next week is study break. haiz.. time flies.. so fast and its near september. october i gonna take my theory tests. i just hope i can get my driving license asap. hahaz..
• so i saw yu hua aft sch at bus stop so we took bus to clementi 2gather. and she wanted to go IMM but dunnoe where to take the shuttle bus.. i told her its at the taxi stand there and she say dun haf sign she scared wrong place.. -_- i just took the shuttle last friday.. lol.. so i waited for the bus wif her. its quite hot and so we decided to get some blended ice to drink. haha. and she was complaining that the female serving her got attitude prob.. LOL.. i agree oso..
• aft sending her on the shuttle bus, i went home. quite bored though. nothing to do. then there was this few fu hua sec students who got on the bus. they were quite noisy la.. and it happen that this 2 fella were talking abt their parents and were behind me. one was complaining that his parents always beat him when he score badly for his test and the other one's parents nv really care and instead of punishing, they bought things for him and even asked him to play and enjoy himself. haha. how i wish my parents can even ask me "hey allan how's school today?" or even ask me "how's your test?".. seems that they cant be bothered. sometimes i do feel sad, especially when i am with my relatives and they always like to ask my parents "how old is your son now? wads he studying now?".. for now, they only know how to answer them "business lor". when i was in secondary sch, and they asked them that question, they answered with "express lor" and when relatives asked abt wad subject i took, they just tell them "dunnoe la.. isnt the same for every1?".. haha.. i asked my cousin's mum (er.. should call her auntie ba i think.. lol) and she can tell me wad exactly my cousin is studying. i do feel quite bad la.. my parents dun even know how bad or good i am doing in sch. they nv ask. and will never ask.
• sometimes i just wondered, wads wrong with me. i really dunnoe. its as if i am living with some normal friends in my house. sometimes when they remember they will ask abit here and there. they do care for me too, but somehow i dunnoe why i feel nothing. even if i can feel it, its quite little.. i failed my exams in secondary sch. they saw in report book and they just signed it. they nv even asked why i failed and wad i failed. they just sign it and walk off. and i take my report book and went into my room. this was the memory i had. i tried to tell them about wads happening in my sch and me in sch. but i wondered how much went in. whenever i have to make a decision, they will ask me to choose myself. since young its been like this. i kinda hate it at times. at least tell me abit on how to make decision ma.. no.. never..
• i wondered to myself, why have i chosen business studies as my poly course. the reason is that my father hopes that i can be successful one day and he wish that his son can take business. he told me that when i was in secondary sch, though i wanted to study IT very much due to my interest in it since primary sch. my mum supported my to go study IT. but in the end i went to business. why? i guess its because my dad wished that his son can be successful. haha.. some might think its stupid of me.. just to fulfill someone's wish and can even forsake my wish.. i keep thinking of this question, why did i choose this path. maybe i will have the answer someday.
• after studying the 1st semester in business, i have already shown no interest in it. though i wanted to be like sim wong hoo since young. i wanted to drop out from business and go study IT. but until now, i am still inside biz. i talked to my parents last year abt dropping out. and as usual, they told me to make the decision myself. this really sucks. i really hate this kinda life. i just wish that they can sometime make decision for me. and my father has been looknig down on me since young. dun even think he treat me as a son. his job is just to support my bro and my studies, family and thats all. provide money nia. never had i, from the day i had memory, did he buy something on my brithday for me. its always my mum celebrating my birthday for me and he just came back to join us. last year was worst.. its my friends who celebrated for me and my parents even forget about it. i dun mind not celebrating for me. at least a happy birthday will do. nah.. not even once in this few years had i heard that from them. the very last time they celebrated for me was in sec 2 i think.. ever since then.. they forgotten about it.. everything.. maybe one day they might even forget that they had a son named allan too.. haha.. i dunnoe..
• i wonder if my brother can feel it. and i hope he wun feel it. as in my parents la.. i dun wan him to be like me. i hope they can show more care to my brother. because i know, since i have been tru this, its quite a bad thing for a child when he/she is young. ya and i can see that la.. whenever my bro comes back late they will ask this and that.. 7pm reach home they start asking. i reached home at 3am or 4am they seldom ask. haha.. maybe for now they think i am old liao le so can skip all these shits. true la.. i dun like them to nag too much. but it has been like that ever since young. but not for my brother. brother keep complaining that my parents are controlling him alot and asking him alot of shits. haha.. i never even had the chance lor.. i guess this is wad an eldest in the family has to go tru.
• ok.. i talk until out of point liao le.. haha.. tmd.. i say say then suddenly type out so much craps.. er.. guess today's post is damn long. so visitor, u can dun read if u dun wan to. hahaz.. ok.. so i was saying i'm on bus. reached home took a shower ate my lunch and played nfsu2 again. after that went for afternoon nap.
• watched "tian guo de jie ti" just now. i think i am starting to get addicted to it le. haha.. its going to be a sad story. and then i can even hear my mum shouted "in front!" when this jing shu was to the right of the passage way when she came out of the shopping mall and cheng jun ran to the left trying to look for her. well, its a so near yet so far kinda thing sia. haha.. and i wanna know the name of the opening theme of this show.. if any1 knows the name pls tell me.. i fyou got the song, even better! send me!! haha..
• played dota just now wif jason, wai kit and jason de friend. his friend quite good sia. but i feel that i am better. i was owning again.. (muahaha). have to thank wai kit too coz he helped me alot in the game as well. he used cm and i used lich. we are owning lor! lol. and as expected, jason was feeding. cant blame him coz we just started playing nia. u know, by 35 mins, my lich already has dagon, boots and scepter liao le. (slow farming skills la.. bo pian) and their pathetic sven only has ror, boots, nulls and MASK OF DEATH. OMG.. i dunnoe wad to say.. to think he early game double kill finish me and wai kit off.. late game he sucks..
• to think i blogged to late tonight sia.. its 3am on my clock now and the time on blogger says 216 am. lol.. which means i took like 45 mins to blog!! >.<>

-allan
if i go crazy then will u still call me superman? if i'm alive and well will u be there holding my hand? - Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down.